How to Communicate with Clarity & Confidence

Whether you are an introvert who agonises over what to say - or an extrovert who has no trouble talking, but often struggles to listen - 'Confident Conversation' harnesses existing personality strengths in order to employ practical tools for effective and eloquent communication.

Communication is an art, and anyone--whether shy or outgoing--can improve his or her conversational skills. Much of your success in life is going to come from your ability to communicate well with other people. Successful people know how to communicate and have taken a lot of time to improve communication skills.

How to Communicate with Confidence is a straightforward article to making good conversation that works in any situation--and works for any personality type. Highlighting the art of give and take and stressing the importance of listening, this article gives confidence to those who hesitate to strike up a conversation. Author Kranti Gaurav shows readers that they don't have to have a stockpile of great stories to tell in order to make good conversation. Instead, he encourages an "explorer" mind-set and gives readers the tools they need to talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere.

Social intelligence, which is the ability to interact well with others, is one of the highest paid and most respected intelligence in our society.

So, how do you communicate more effectively with others?

My favourite word in communication is clarity.

Almost all our problems in life come because of lack of clarity. We say things but they don’t come out clearly. To be clear, stop and think, and then proceed slowly.

Another great way is to rephrase or repeat something if it’s clear that they didn’t get the message.

I speak Hindi & English. One of the things I’ve learned is if you say something in your limited language and someone doesn’t seem to understand it, rephrase it and say it again.

If they still don’t understand, rephrase it and say it again until that person says, “Ha! Now I understand.”

There are also ways to communicate with clarity in stressful situations as well:

Having A Conversation

Effective communication starts with being clear in your own mind about what you want to say. Then be clear when you deliver the message, saying it slowly and patiently. Finally, make sure that the other person hears the message that you sent.

When you communicate with another person, this is what happens:

You send a message into the air in the form of words.
The words are then received by the other person who interprets them in their own mind based on their own thoughts, feelings, and so on.
The other person formulates a response and sends the response back.
You then receive the response, translate that into meaning and significance.
You send back your response.
Noise In Communication
Between these two responses there is noise. Noise can be physical noise like trucks, a TV, people talking, mechanics, etc., but it can also be internal noise.

The person could be hungry or distracted. It can be emotional noise. The person could be unhappy or excited. The person could have other noise influencing them that causes them to interpret what you say in a different way.

If you think about this, communication requires sending the message and having it received. The message is checked, and sent back. The message is received, and then checked. It’s better to be sure at every stage of the transaction that people are sending and receiving with tremendous clarity.

The Best Question To Get Clarity
Here is my favourite question of all…

When somebody says something that you’re not sure about say, “How do you mean, or how do you mean exactly?”

They will always expand on what they just said and make it clearer and easier for you to understand and respond to. Try asking this question when you’re not sure of something to get all the clarity you need. For most people, great conversation doesn't come naturally. Whether you're an introvert who agonises over what to say or an extrovert who has no trouble talking--but forgets to listen--you'd probably like to improve your conversational skills. By harnessing the strengths of your personality style and employing practical tools for success, you will be able to
· start, continue, and end a conversation
· listen more effectively
· enjoy yourself in the process

If you . . .
don't know what to say,
feel like you can't start a conversation,
or wish you could speak up more often,
. . . you might be an introvert.


If you . . .
usually dominate the conversation,
can wax eloquent about almost any subject,
or find yourself talking more than listening,
. . . you might be an extrovert.


Either way, with the right attitude and a little know-how, you can excel in the art of confident conversation.

7 Ways to Communicate With Confidence Even if You're Nervous

Communication is everything in life and business. In each interaction it is not what you communicate but how you communicate that makes all the difference. Business interactions range from big egos and hot-headed temperaments to people who are too insecure to speak up. Neither creates productive conversations that result in movement towards greater success. Communication must be respectful to be received well by your counterparts. You must cultivate the emotional control, insight, charisma and courage to voice your ideas and respectfully champion them.

1. Be clear on your views

It takes confidence to share your ideas in the workplace, especially if your goal is to influence and impress colleagues outside your immediate team, including those who have seniority. To be confident when communicating with your boss, a senior executive or a prospective customer you have to be clear on your views. The more clarity you have going into a conversation the more your ideas will be received with thoughtful interest.

When communicating, never worry about stepping out of line. All that can happen is your viewpoints will be considered and then turned down, so you haven’t gained or lost anything. In finding the courage to communicate, however, you develop more confidence in your opinions then if you had never expressed them. If you believe that your ideas can make a significant contribution, then voice them. It is worth the risk.

2. Be prepared

You cannot weaken once you go in for the kill and express your ideas or opinions. Get right to the point. Clarity and directness give you power and authority, especially when you're trying to communicate with higher level executives. State your ideas with a bold but not obnoxious clarity.

Never lead with an apology or any type of excuse which shows insecurity. Start your communication with a strong, confident “I” statement backed up with evidence in support of the validity of your ideas or opinions. Evidence or research will help you not to falter because you have reliable information to reference if you are called upon to prove yourself. Each time your view is challenged it gives you an opportunity to reaffirm the validity of your ideas. View these challenges not as rejections, but as welcomed opportunities.

3. Stick to your guns

Be prepared to stand firm for your ideas whenever necessary. It may be intimidating to stand up to dissenting views, particularly if the opposition is coming from those in higher positions. Keep in mind ideas that are the most worth sharing are the ones likely to be bordering on the edge of controversial. Whenever you present something new, expect to be challenged, then rise to the occasion by citing the evidence and research forming your position.

Show your conviction without being defensive or aggressive, both of which advertise a lack of confidence and undermine the validity of your idea to the powers that be. When confronted or questioned, first acknowledge the other person’s point of view, then firmly and cordially demonstrate the valid reasons you see things differently.

4. Provoke questioning

Senior executives value thoughtful input from others. They thrive on ideas which provoke innovative dialogue. They like to be challenged and to challenge back when they share opposing views. This type of dialogue inspires each person to generate and put forth only their best ideas. Whenever you get the opportunity to generate and contribute to a critical thinking conversation, engage in this dynamic with a spirit of cooperation and open-mindedness.

When you are cooperative and open minded you inspire dialogue that builds solutions. It is best to be involved in the game rather than to stay quiet or allowing yourself to become internally combative. The more cooperative you can be and open to new additions to the ideas you’re presenting, the more interesting you become to those above or below you. It shows great character to bend and be flexible while also sticking strongly to what you believe about your ideas and opinions. You remain approachable yet steady, having the ability to get others to question and ponder more deeply what you bring to the table.

5. Show respect

People are people. If you approach senior executives with an “underling” disposition your ideas and opinions will not be taken seriously. Your attitude, approach, nonverbal energy and tone of voice reveal everything. Respect yourself first by showing confidence and then always be respectful when sharing your ideas.

There is an unconscious habit in most people to defer to those who have more power but if you defer to them, they will not respect this about you. Do not let your uppers take control of the conversation or let them silence you. Show your respect by only sharing your best ideas with them. Conversely, when you address those less senior to you, show an equal degree of respect. Listen to them carefully, acknowledge their opinions, and build upon their ideas in whatever way you can.

6. Be genuine

It takes extraordinary courage to be confident in yourself while sharing your ideas, especially if you work on a team where you aren't necessarily seen as the type to voice ideas or opinions. Sometimes that isn't always personal. It may be the culture of the team or company. As you look around at your peers, you may feel there's a normal way of dressing, speaking, looking, and acting and it can be compelling to maintain status quo. Keep in mind, however, great successes never obey status quo. Further, there's no need to resist corporate culture in your effort to become a more powerful communicator. You can stay in line with what works, still be bold in who you are and state your opinions and ideas.

Authenticity is a contagious character trait. The more genuine you allow yourself to be regardless of company culture and the more willing you are to put what you think out there, the more successful you will inspire your team to be. Be willing to risk. Have the courage to utilize your spontaneity, creative energy, vigor, and sense of humor. Suppressing those qualities won't serve you, your message, or your company.

7. Listen Twice, Speak Once 

As the old saying goes: "You have two ears and one mouth for a reason: so listen twice as much as you speak."

So while the other person is talking, give him or her your undivided attention. Don't be thinking of what you're going to say next, or you’re likely to miss what the person is saying. That can be lead to bigger embarrassment than asking too many questions. Take a chance and keep trying for what you want. It's only a matter of time before you get it. The only way to learn good communication skills is by practising. Hanging back in the shadows and playing it safe leads nowhere.

In any type of communication your emotions can confuse and derail you. Go into each interaction knowing your emotions cannot be trusted. You may feel shy, insecure and uncertain. Deal with this like a pebble in your shoe. It is uncomfortable but you have to ignore it. These emotions must be overcome for your ideas to be heard, respected and then utilised. You cannot let these lower level insecurities or any defensiveness be a part of your equation. Go into each interaction with a smile. This makes it appear as if you have it together. Be well-groomed and possess a sense of humour. If you act confident enough, you will become confident enough. Dress the part, play the role and say what you need to say as it if is absolute truth. This is how you will close every deal and climb the corporate ladder.

Thank you so much Guys.

Stay Fit, Take Care & Keep Smiling :-)

God Bless !!

Kranti Gaurav
XLRI Jamshedpur