How To Be Happy Alone

How To Be Happy Alone

The interesting thing about the question “How to be happy alone?” is that the question itself exposes the reason why you are unhappy alone. Let me break it down for you.

You believe that a relationship is the key to happiness

If you’re asking the question “How to be happy alone?”, it’s almost certainly because you believe “being in a relationship is the key to happiness”. This belief may also show up as “It’s best to be in a relationship”, “you should be in a relationship”, “you’d be happiest if you’re in a relationship”, “life is meaningless if you don’t have someone to share it with”, “love is the key to happiness” or something along those lines.

Are you believing one of those things? Almost certainly. Because, if you didn’t believe that being in a relationship created happiness, then you would ask “How to be happy?” instead of “How to be happy alone”. The question implies that it is harder to be happy if you’re not in a relationship.

Why you are unhappy alone

When you believe that a relationship (or love) is the key to happiness, and you aren’t in a relationship (or aren’t loved), then you will automatically believe that your life isn’t good enough. You unconsciously (or consciously) compare your life how it is to your idea of the “perfect” life. And when your life doesn’t match your idea of “perfect”, it is unconsciously decided that the way things are isn’t good enough.

As soon as you decide that your life isn’t good enough, you begin to feel lacking and as though there’s something missing in your life.

Why your feeling of lack can’t be created by being single

For most people it can seem as though the feeling of lack is not created by a belief, but actually caused by not having a romantic partner in your life. Let’s examine that assumption.

When you’re watching a comedy/action movie and are fully immersed in the movie, do you feel unhappy about being single? No, certainly not. Why? Because, in a moment when you’re giving your full attention to a movie, you’re not thinking about how bad it is to be single. When you’re doing something that you love like going to yoga class, playing a sport, dancing, playing with your kids, hanging out with your friends, or something like that, are you unhappy about being single? No. Why not? Because you are distracted from the thoughts that claim your life isn’t good enough.

If being single factually created unhappiness and a feeling of lack, then you would be forced to feel lacking and unhappy in every moment that you are single. But, if all it takes to stop feeling lacking and unhappy is to just distract yourself from your thoughts, then it is clear that your feeling of lack and unhappiness must be created by thoughts.

An exercise to watch how thoughts create the feeling of lack

The only time you feel lacking and unhappy when you’re single is when you tell yourself the story about how life would be so much better if you were in a relationship. To see this for yourself, let’s do a little exercise. First take a moment to ask yourself “How do I feel right now?” Maybe you feel okay, not so bad, or a little bit of lack, but nothing too strong.

Now, please take a moment to tell yourself some of the following thoughts. And when one of them feels true, start telling yourself all of the stories about it. “It would be so great if I was in a relationship”, “It’s terrible having no one to love me”, “My life will mean nothing if I don’t find someone to love me”, “I should be in a relationship (or married) by now”, “I’ll never be happy if I don’t get married”.

How does it make you feel when you tell yourself these stories? Unhappy? Sad? Lacking? Fearful? A minute ago, before you told these stories in your mind, these feelings weren’t there, but once you start giving attention to these stories, the feelings appear. If these emotions show up as soon as the thoughts show up, it is clear that the thoughts must be creating the emotions.

It may seem that your feeling of lack proves that your life is somehow factually lacking something, but the truth is that this feeling of lack is only created by believing stories in your mind.

How to be happy alone? Discover that a relationship can’t make you happy
Now that you have seen that thoughts/belief are what’s making you feel unhappy and lacking, the next question is “What do I do about it?” The primary cause of your unhappiness when you’re alone is created by comparing your life now to your idea of the “perfect life”. Therefore, the way to be happy now is to discover that your life right now is not “worse” than the “perfect” life. In other words, you have to discover that the “perfect” life isn’t as perfect as you thought it was. Then, you will no longer decide that your life isn’t good enough, which will stop creating the feeling of lack and unhappiness.

The real reason why you want a relationship (and whatever ideas you have that go with it) is because you believe that it will make you feel happy, lovable, okay, complete, fulfilled, free, relaxed, or something along these lines. Therefore, if you want to feel happy alone, all you need to do is to discover that a relationship, marriage, and love can’t give you any of these feelings that you want. This discovery ends the comparison that creates your suffering. That may sound ridiculous in this moment, but at the end of this explanation you’ll see this very clearly for yourself.

Why a relationship can’t make you happy

So, does a relationship, love, or marriage create happiness? Well, if it created happiness, then everyone who had it would be happy. But, is everyone’s who’s married and in a relationship happy? No, clearly not. The divorce rate in America is over 50%. Therefore, marriage and companionship itself clearly doesn’t create happiness.

But, what if the person you were in a relationship with was “perfect” for you in every way? Surely, then you would be happy, right? Well, imagine that you have this perfect partner that you want, a perfect marriage… would you not still have anxiety about your job? Will you have no anxiety about money? Are you going to stop worrying about what other people think of your appearance, your personality, and how you act? Are you not still going to have insecurities about your personality, appearance? Are you not going to still insecure about whether you’re smart enough, funny enough, outgoing enough etc? Will you not have insecurities about your stomach, your face, your butt, your thighs, your legs, all of that? You’re not going to have any of that? Are you not going to judge others? Are you not going to get angry at others? Are you not going to feel sad about events that happen? Are you still not going to feel sad, guilty, or ashamed about things that happened in the past?

Even if you get the so-called “perfect” person for you to marry you or love you, that doesn’t have the ability to eliminate all of the thoughts that make you unhappy (or practically any of them).

If you get the “perfect” partner, you will have new suffering

If you enter into a relationship with someone that you believe is “perfect” for you, it can be enjoyable, and it can be fun. It can also give us a few new unconscious thoughts of “my life is great because I am in a relationship now” and “If he loves me, that must mean that I am lovable”. These two new thoughts will create some pleasure.

But, as soon as you decide that the relationship makes you happy in some way, you have also decided that it would be bad for the relationship to end. As soon as you decide that their love makes you happy and means something about who you are, you have also decided that it would be bad and mean something about you if they stop loving you. If you think that your happiness is dependent on the relationship, then of course you are going to fear losing the relationship. That may show up as being afraid that they will leave you, cheat on you, or even die. If you believe that your happiness or “love-ability” is dependent on their love for you, then of course you are going to fear losing their love. This fills the relationship with worrying about whether they still love you, and requires you to make an effort to be someone “lovable” in order to keep their love.

Since you will be afraid that your partner will leave you or stop loving you, you will inevitably constantly look for reassurance that you partner still loves you. You will want them to show you appreciation, get you gifts, tell you that they love you, call you, and so on just to continually prove and reaffirm their love for you since you can never know for sure that they still love you.

Life outside of the relationship isn’t as fun when you look to a relationship to make you happy
The fact of the matter is that even if you are married or in a relationship, the vast majority of your time on any given day will not be spent with your romantic partner. When you’re at work, or when they’re at work, you’re not with your partner. And that is most of the day.

If you are looking for your happiness from one person that is not with you most of the time, then that is a recipe for suffering. You may think that you are alone now, but you will continue to be alone most of the time even when you are in a relationship. The only thing that changes is a thought that pops up in your head from time to time that says “I have a romantic partner that loves me”. But, you don’t even know that to be true. It’s just an assumption, a belief, a guess, a hope. In addition, when you are not with them, it is harder to be reminded and reaffirmed that your partner loves you, so it leaves room for more doubt, worry, and jealousy.

What it means if a relationship can’t make you happy

If you see that a relationship can’t make you happy, and can’t make anybody happy, then all of the sudden that means that you’re not lacking anything right now. You’re life is not any worse because you’re single. You don’t have less of a chance of being happy because you’re single. The people in relationships are not happier than you. You’re life isn’t not good enough to be happy simply because you don’t have a romantic partner. No, you have the same chance of being happy as anyone else. You are at no disadvantage whatsoever by being single.

How to be happy alone… what to do

Recognizing that being in a relationship can’t make you happy will eliminate some of your feelings of shame and lack about being single, but there will still be a lot of other thoughts that make you unhappy in life. Therefore, to truly answer the question “How to be happy alone?”, the answer is: The same way to make yourself happy when in a relationship… Lose the thoughts that make you unhappy.

How do you do that? First, you have to identify the thoughts that make you unhappy. Once you do that, all you have to do is discover that these thoughts aren’t true. When you stop believing a thought, that thought will stop creating an emotion.

If you’re in a relationship, and you still believe all the thoughts that give you anxiety, worry, insecurity, judgement, resentment, arguments all that, you’re going to be unhappy. Therefore, in a relationship, you need to examine the thoughts that make you unhappy. The same goes for when you’re single. You need to examine the thoughts that make you unhappy. Just as you recognized in this blog post that the belief “A relationship is the key to happiness” isn’t true, you can do that with every thought that creates suffering.

I hope you found this blog post about how to be happy alone helpful.

The truth is, when you’re not following your thoughts, or you’re distracted from thoughts, you’re already happy. Therefore, being alone doesn’t make you unhappy. You’re already okay as you are. The only thing that makes you unhappy is following the negative stories in your mind.

Thank you so much Guys :-)

God Bless !!

How To Deal With Loneliness

How To Deal With Loneliness

In order to understand how to deal with loneliness, we first need to be very clear about what’s causing the loneliness.

What most people think is causing their loneliness

So what’s causing your loneliness? Well, what do you think is causing it? If you are single, you probably think that your loneliness is caused by being alone and not having a romantic partner. And if you’re in a relationship, you probably think it’s caused by your partner not loving you, not appreciating you enough, or having the wrong partner.

Proving that what you thought caused loneliness… definitely doesn’t
Now, let’s take a look at what’s actually causing your loneliness. To do this, let’s examine the most common things that people think cause loneliness.

Exercise 1: Does being alone cause loneliness?

Does being alone cause loneliness? Well, take a look at your life. Are you lonely in every moment that you’re alone? Or do you sometimes not feel lonely when: you’re distracted from your thoughts, you’re watching TV, playing sports, eating good food, cooking, eating dessert, dancing, playing with kids, or doing something fun? When you are distracted and entertained you almost certainly don’t feel lonely. This is because in those moments you’re just not thinking about how you are alone. If being alone caused loneliness, then you wouldn’t be able to escape or lose this loneliness simply by entertaining yourself. But, yet you almost certainly don’t feel lonely at many different points during any given day.

Exercise 2: Is everyone that’s alone, lonely?

Is everyone that’s alone, lonely? Of course not. If being alone created loneliness then everyone that is alone would feel lonely. Can you see that? In addition, if being alone created loneliness then anyone who was not alone wouldn’t be able to feel lonely. This would mean that everyone who is in a relationship wouldn’t be able to feel lonely. But, clearly that’s not the case. Many people in relationships feel lonely. I speak to these people all the time. If people in relationships can feel lonely, then clearly being alone isn’t the cause of loneliness. And that very clear means that being in a relationship with someone isn’t the cure for loneliness.

Exercise 3: Does the lack of being loved create loneliness?

Does the lack of being loved create loneliness? Well, let’s take a look. Are you loved? Do your parents love you? Do your friends love you? Do some people love you? If relevant, does your romantic partner love you? There are probably some people that love you. But yet, you still feel lonely. If being loved got rid of loneliness, then you wouldn’t feel lonely. To give you an example, there are many famous pop stars that have millions of people that absolutely love them and adore them. But, yet we often see in documentaries and interviews that they feel unhappy and lonely… which often motivates them to go to drugs. This demonstrates that being loved doesn’t cure loneliness and that not being loved can’t be the cause of loneliness.

The only thing creating your loneliness is thoughts

The previous exercises clearly demonstrate that none of the things that seem to be causing loneliness actually do. The only thing that causes loneliness is our own thoughts. Therefore, the answer to the question of “How to deal with loneliness?” is to address the thoughts that create your loneliness.

But, what thoughts are creating this loneliness? Well that depends. There are a few different types of thoughts that cause loneliness. But, broadly speaking, there is one major thought for single people and one major thought for people in relationships. First we’re going to look at loneliness for single people, and then we’re going to look at loneliness in relationships.

The specific thoughts that cause loneliness for single people

How to deal with loneliness for single people: What happens is that we were taught by our society, our media, our family, and our friends to believe that: “being in a relationship would make me happy”, “being in a relationship would make me feel complete and whole”, “I should be in a relationship and get married”, and “being in a relationship is how to be happiest”. And as soon as we create this fantasy, we compare our reality to the fantasy. Then, all of the sudden, this moment unconsciously judged to be completely insufficient, lacking, and not good enough. And these thoughts are what create our loneliness.

So, paradoxically having a fantasy about what you think will make you happy, creates loneliness in this moment. As you are likely aware, this then causes to be constantly searching for somebody to love us. On top of that, this leads to having fear and anxiety that we will never find someone to be with and someone to love us.

Put simply, when we are single, what creates our loneliness is the belief that a relationship can make us happy. So if you want to stop feeling lonely, you need to question that belief. You need to question whether a relationship can give you the happiness that you want. Let’s examine that now.

How to deal with loneliness when single: Discover that a relationship can’t fulfill you
Can a relationship fulfil you, make you feel whole, or make you feel as happy as you want to be? Let’s examine it.

To understand what can make you happy, you first need to understand what’s causing your unhappiness. And the simple answer is: thoughts cause your unhappiness. Here are some of the most common thoughts that make you unhappy: judgements about yourself, insecurities, thoughts about yourself that make you feel ashamed, worrying about what people think, anxiety about the future, judgements about situations in our life, judgements about people in your life, negative thoughts about “bad” events from our past, resentment towards the people in our life, and feeling guilty about the past. All this creates our unhappiness, and lack of fulfilment.

Therefore, the real question you have to ask yourself isn’t “Can a relationship make me happy?”, but rather “Can a relationship eliminate the thoughts that make me unhappy?” Take a moment to look at whether you think that spending time with someone you love or enjoy could eliminate all the unwanted thoughts mentioned above.

It is very clear that a relationship itself doesn’t have the ability to get rid of your anxiety about the future, your worrying about what other people think, or your judgements about yourself. It just doesn’t have that ability. If it did, everyone in a relationship would be happy. But yet clearly, they aren’t. Alright, that doesn’t mean that you cannot be happy, it just means that a relationship can’t make you happy in of itself.

You can be happy now… even if you’re single

How to deal with loneliness: Well, we tend to look at happiness as it’s acquired or achieved. That if we just got “this” we’d be happy, or got “that” we’d be happy. But happiness is what remains when we lose thoughts that make us unhappy. That’s it. If you can see that a relationship doesn’t have the ability to make you happy, then you can stop giving so much attention to your fantasy about how wonderful it would be if you were in a relationship. Whether you’re in a relationship or you’re single doesn’t affect your happiness; only thoughts do.

So being single, being alone, and being by yourself doesn’t create unhappiness, only thoughts do. So you’re not in a disadvantageous position of being happy. You can be as happy and fulfilled just as easily as somebody in a relationship can be. Your life is not lacking, your life isn’t missing anything, and your life isn’t insufficient just because you’re single. It’s okay. Being single doesn’t mean anything. It absolutely doesn’t mean you can’t be happy. If you can see that, then watch the loneliness just subside. You’re not missing anything.

What seems to be causing loneliness in relationships… really doesn’t

How to deal with loneliness for people in relationships: A large percentage of the married people that come to me for sessions feel lonely even though they are in relationships. Often times, even if our relationship seems perfect, even if the other person loves us, and even our life seems to be great, we often still experience loneliness.

Generally, when we are in a relationship, but still feel lonely, we look to blame it on something. We might decide “They don’t love me enough”, “They don’t appreciate me enough”, “They don’t spend enough time with me”, “They’re not intimate enough with me”, “They don’t cuddle enough”, “They’re not close enough”, or “They spend too much time at work”. We blame the loneliness on all of these things, as if they are the cause of our loneliness. But none of these things cause loneliness.

And the easy way to see that is to just look. In a moment when you’re by yourself, and you’re not with your partner, are you always lonely in these moments? If not being with your partner created this loneliness then every moment that you’re weren’t with them, you would feel lonely.

If your partner not being intimate enough with you created loneliness, then every moment that you weren’t intimate, you would be lonely. But clearly that’s not the case. Sometimes you feel lonely, sometimes you don’t. What happens is that there are specific stories that create loneliness. And when you tell these stories, the loneliness comes. But when you don’t tell those stories, there is no loneliness.

How to deal with loneliness when in relationship: First, discover what stories are creating your loneliness

If you want to know how to deal with loneliness, you first have to see what specific stories you are telling that create your loneliness. To give you hint, loneliness is almost always created by the following 2 things:

Comparing our relationship to our ideas about what is the perfect relationship

Comparing our partners’ actions to our ideas about what is the perfect way for a romantic partner to act

So if we believe they should be spending x amount of hours with us every day, and when they don’t spend that amount of time with us we think, “It’s not good enough that they’re not spending that amount of time with me.” Or if we think that they should want to hold me, and they should tell me that they love me. Right? Or telling me that they love me means that they do love me, or something like that. When they don’t tell us that they love us, when they don’t cuddle us, when they don’t do those things; we think, “If they loved me, they would do those things.” Or. If it was a perfect relationship, they would do those things; and then we feel lacking and insufficient. Right?

When you don’t judge, you don’t feel lonely

But, in any moment that you don’t judge your partner, when you let any ideas of how they should be acting, or what they should be doing, or what the perfect relationship would be like. There’s no loneliness, they’re just present with them. You’re just being here with them. When you’re just here with your partner, or without your partner; everything is fine, regardless of what they’re doing. But as soon as you start to tell stories, loneliness comes.

How do you feel when you judge your partner?

In this moment, just look. What do I judge that’s not good enough about them? Do I judge that they don’t spend enough time with me? Do I judge that they don’t tell me they love me enough? That they don’t appreciate me enough. Right? So look at what you judge them to do. And then notice that when you have that judgement; that’s when loneliness comes. So, if you can see that then you can stop blaming them for your loneliness. It has nothing to do with whether they appreciate you enough, or how much they appreciate you. It only has to deal with whether you think about them appreciating you enough or not enough.

If you can see that, then you can come back to this moment. Oh, I’m not missing anything. It’s just these thoughts that are creating loneliness. Nothing else, it’s nothing to do with them. And when you stop judging them, you’re left with love for them. When you don’t believe you’re judgements about someone, what’s left is love. Love is simply what remains when you don’t have judgements about others. So when you don’t judge your partner to be not good enough, you’ll feel love for them. And we can’t be lonely and feel love. We tend to think that somebody loving us will get rid of our loneliness, but it can’t. No matter what somebody else does that doesn’t get rid of our loneliness.

What gets rid of our loneliness when we’re in a relationship is loving the other person. Just loving them, that’s it. So if you want to stop feeling lonely, look to see what judgements you have about your partner and the relationship. And then question whether they’re true or not. Question whether they are important or not. Because when you lose those judgements you will be left with love; and be left without your loneliness.

I hope this post about how to deal with loneliness helps. Please let me know how it goes.

Thank you so much for reading my dear Friends :-)

God Bless !!

How To Stop Thinking About Someone

How To Stop Thinking About Someone?

Do you want to know how to stop thinking about someone? Do you want to know how to stop missing someone? In this blog post, I will answer both of these questions. Generally, when we want to stop thinking about someone, we try to push the thoughts away, stop them, deny that we have them, or distract ourselves from these thoughts.

As you may have come to discover, these tactics generally don’t bring the results that we want and don’t help us to stop thinking about the person we’re thinking about. In this blog post, I am going to introduce you to a new tactic that is likely to be much more effective. But, before I talk about how to stop thinking about someone, I just want to briefly explain what missing someone is.

What seems to be the cause of missing someone?

If someone was with you that you love, and they are no longer with you, it can seem as if missing that person is a direct result of that person you love no longer being with you. It seems as though missing someone is an automatic reaction to not being with someone you love, and it is an impossible reaction to escape. It seems as if when someone you love leaves you, you miss them, and that’s just the way it works. There’s no choice in the matter. The feeling of missing someone seems to be directly created by not being around someone you love.

But, now it is time to examine this assumption.

The real cause of missing someone

Let me ask you a question, do you have anything that you do for fun? Take a moment to think about some of the things that you enjoy doing the most. For example, maybe you watch movies, maybe you eat desserts, maybe you go dancing, maybe you play sports, or maybe you play with your kids.

If you are missing someone, and then you engage in some activity that you really enjoy, would you be able to have fun or enjoy yourself? In other words, are you able to have fun and be happy when you are engaging in these activities even though the person you love is not here? Yes, you would almost certainly still be able to have fun when you are doing something you love.

When you engage in activities that you like, you are able to enjoy yourself because you are distracting yourself from the thoughts that make you unhappy. So, if the person you love is no longer here, but yet you can be happy simply by distracting yourself from thoughts, then clearly your feeling of missing them isn’t created by the factual circumstance of that person not being here. If your feeling of missing someone was directly created by a person you love not being here with you, then you would be forced to have this feeling of missing them for as long as they weren’t here with you, and you wouldn’t be able to escape this feeling simply by distracting yourself from your thoughts.

Can you see how missing someone is not created by someone you love not being here with you, but is actually directly created by thoughts? When you think about someone you love not being here, you miss them. But, when you are not thinking about them, you don’t miss them. The feeling of missing someone is just created by thinking about someone that you want to be here, but isn’t here.

To understand how to stop thinking about someone, you need to understand why you think about them?

Let me first say this: there is no problem with thinking about anyone. It is not as though you shouldn’t do it or it is a bad thing to do. But, if you want to know how to stop thinking about someone, then you first have to understand why you are thinking about them. If you don’t understand why you are thinking about someone, then it is very, very difficult to stop thinking about them. You will end up just trying to push your thoughts away, rather than directly addressing the cause of why you’re thinking about them.

So why do you think about the person you are thinking about? When it comes to relationships, which is the most common situation for when we want to stop thinking about someone, the reason why we think about them is because we think that we would be happier if they were here. The reason why you keep thinking about them or missing them is because you think you would be happier if they were here.

Are you thinking about someone because you think you would be happier if they were here?
To test this out, think about a time that you were enjoying yourself while the person you have been missing isn’t here. In the moment that you were having fun, being happy, and enjoying yourself, were you thinking about the person you have been missing? No, almost certainly not. This is because when you are already happy, there is no reason to think about the person you have been missing.

But when you’re sitting there, not particularly happy, or just not doing much, your mind just keeps bringing up how you would be happier if they were here and that causes you to keep thinking about them.

If you thought that you would be unhappier if they were here, would you continue to think about them? No, almost certainly not. Do you see how that is true?

Let’s examine whether you would actually be happier if the person you are thinking about was here
When we are thinking about someone, what we do is we remember a moment of pleasure (or happy moments) from our time with them, and then we think (often unconsciously) “I would be happier if they were here”. But let’s now examine this major assumption “I would be happier if they were here”.

Tactic #1: Were you always happy and fulfilled when they were?

How to stop thinking about someone: Were you always happy when the person you are missing was here? Were all of your times together enjoyable? Were there some moments when you were with them and you were worrying about what they think? Were there some moments when you were really annoyed with them, when you judged them, when they judged you, when you got in arguments, when you were worried about whether they were cheating on you, when you were worried about whether they still loved you, when you resented them because they didn’t appreciate you enough, when you felt uncomfortable because you were trying to please them?

When you are thinking about how you would be happier if they were here, you are thinking about a specific moment/s of pleasure that you had with them, but you can’t just bring back the happy/fun moments. If you bring the person you have been thinking about back into your life, you will be bringing everything back. You will be bringing the worrying, resentment, disappointment, arguing, doing things you don’t like, and all of that stuff along with the fun moments. Right?

So let me ask you the question: Do you know with absolute certainty that you would be happier if the person you have been thinking about was here? Is it possible that there would be more unhappiness in my life if they came back into my life? Just asking yourself these questions might help you to discover “I don’t actually know whether I would be happier if they were here again”.

Tactic #2: Could new things come into your life that wind up making you happier?

How to stop thinking about someone: Maybe your experience with the person you are thinking about was almost always wonderful and filled with happiness. But, that experience is over now. Now, you have a new experience in your life. In other words, your experience in life is now different because you no longer have that person in your life. And then you decide “I would be happier if they were here”. But, do you know what all of the effects are of losing the person that you were with?

Do you know for sure that you won’t wind up being happier single? Is it possible that losing that person will allow you to spend more time with friends, to make new friends, or to spend more time engaging with your hobbies? Is it possible that you will find someone else that you will enjoy being with much more than the last person? Can you be absolutely sure that these things aren’t possible? Is it possible that all of these types of things could wind up leaving you happier in your life without the person you have been thinking about? Is it possible that something wonderful will happen to you now that they are no longer in your life? Can you think of a few good effects of the person you are thinking about no longer being here with you?

If it is possible that you could be happier without the person that you have been thinking about, then you don’t need to keep thinking about how you would be happier if they were. Because the truth is that you don’t know whether you would be happier if they were here.

Tactic #3: Could your unhappiness motivate you to start working on yourself, which could make you much happier?

How to stop thinking about someone: Losing the person you have been thinking about seems to have created some unhappiness for you. But, that is just one, very short-term effect. Is it possible that this unhappiness you are experiencing will provoke you to start examining your unhappiness, to start questioning what makes you unhappy, to discover that thoughts cause your unwanted emotions, and to discover how to address these thoughts, which will ultimately make you much happier in life?

In other words, most of us go through life assuming that external circumstances and events make us happy and unhappy. But, the truth is that our thoughts about external circumstances and events cause all of our emotions. And, if you learn how to deal with, or eliminate, the thoughts that would normally make you unhappy, then you will be significantly happier in your life. It is possible that the unhappiness you are experiencing from losing someone will cause you to see thoughts that you didn’t know you had, and to somehow get you to a website like this which can show you how to deal with the thoughts that make you unhappy. And that could make you much happier in your life.

Tactic #4: Could “bad” things have happened in your relationship with the person you are thinking about if they were still here?

How to stop thinking about someone: Is it possible that if the person you have been thinking about was still here, maybe something bad would have happened? Is it possible that they would have cheated on you? Is it possible that the relationship would have gotten old and boring? Is it possible that you would have gotten into a big argument that really hurt both of you? Is it possible that you would have gotten more and more jealous or more and more worried about whether they still love you?  Is it possible that if they were here, they would keep you from doing something that was really wonderful and important to you, and you would miss out on it? Is it possible that you would wind up much more unhappy if they were here?

You can’t possibly know whether any of this would happen or not. So when you are thinking about someone, it is an uninvestigated assumption that you would be happier if they were here. But, as you can see, you can’t possibly know whether that’s true.

Tactic #5: Could either of you have changed, making the relationship incompatible?

How to stop thinking about someone: If the person you are thinking about was still here, is it possible that they would have changed in some way that you wouldn’t like? Is it possible that you would have changed in some way where you no longer like being with them? Is it possible that something would have happened to make both of you not a good fit for each other anymore? Is it possible that the enjoyable moments you had together would have been over very soon?

Thank you so much my dear Friends :-)

God Bless !!

A Comprehensive Study on Mobile Marketing By Kranti Gaurav

What is Mobile Marketing?

Mobile marketing is a multi-channel, digital marketing strategy aimed at reaching a target audience on their smartphones, tablets, and/or other mobile devices, via websites, email, SMS and MMS, social media, and apps.

Mobile is disrupting the way people engage with brands. Everything that can be done on a desktop computer is now available on a mobile device. From opening an email to visiting your website to reading your content, it's all accessible through a small mobile screen. Consider:

1. 80% of internet users own a smartphone.
2. Mobile platforms, such as smartphones and tablets, host up to 60% of digital media time for users.
3. Google anticipates search queries on mobile devices to surpass desktop searches by the end of 2018.
4. Effective mobile advertising means understanding your mobile audience, designing content with mobile platforms in mind, and making strategic use of SMS/MMS marketing and mobile apps.


How to Create a Mobile Marketing Strategy


As with any marketing effort, every brand and organization will develop a unique mobile strategy based on the industry and target audience. Mobile technology is all about customization and personalization, which means mobile marketing is, too.

Step 1 - Create Mobile Buyer Personas

Understanding your audience is the first step to any marketing strategy, and buyer personas are a valuable tool to aid in that understanding. Buyer personas are simply fictional representations of your various types of customers. Create a profile that describes each one’s background, job description, main sources of information, goals, challenges, preferred type of content, objections, and/or role in the purchase process. It is easier to determine a channel and voice for your marketing messages when you have a clear picture of your target audience.

Make a specific point to detail your target audience’s mobile habits as well. How much of their web usage happens on mobile devices? Are they comfortable completing a purchase on a smartphone? A simple way to start is to research big data reports on mobile usage. Some interesting observations include:

a. 65% of all email is first opened on a mobile device.
b. 48% of users start their mobile internet sessions on a search engine.
c. 56% of B2B buyers frequently use smartphones to access vendors’ content.
d. 95% of adults primarily use their smartphones to access content/information.

To better understand your specific target market, monitor Google Analytics for your site’s mobile traffic numbers. You can also ask or survey clients and prospects about their mobile web usage.

A/B testing—which compares two versions of the same campaign on a certain channel—can also be informative for developing any aspect of buyer personas. When all other factors are the same, do your email campaign landing pages get more views when you send a related email on weekends or on weekdays? In the mornings or in the evenings? Which title or email subject gets more click-throughs?

Both the general and specific data will help develop audience personas that include mobile usage.

Step 2 - Set Goals

The key to defining any effective strategy is to first decide what success looks like. Get the key stakeholders together to map your mobile marketing strategy. Identify goals by asking your team some of these questions:

1. What are we currently doing for mobile? This will define your starting point, and make sure everyone is on the same page as you begin.
2. If you are already doing mobile marketing, how are those initiatives performing? This conversation will identify what is already working, what is not, and what’s not even being measured.
3. What are your main objectives for including mobile marketing in your overall strategy? Discuss why you’re considering mobile now, what conversations have led up to this point, and what you expect from mobile marketing.
4. Who are your key audiences for mobile marketing? Talk about your customer personas in light of mobile usage updates. How similar or different is each persona’s mobile usage?
5. How are you engaging your mobile audience cross-channel?

This discussion will help analyze how the channels you’re currently using can be included in your mobile marketing strategy.

Step 3 - Establish KPIs

Just like your other marketing efforts, mobile marketing needs to be tested and optimized. Determine which realistic, measurable KPIs define your mobile campaign’s success. For example:

1. Engagement—Provide mobile-friendly content for potential customers who are searching for information about your industry or product. Make sure your website is mobile-responsive to improve mobile SEO.

2. Acquisition—Make sure lead nurturing emails are mobile-friendly with clear calls-to-action. Buttons in emails should be near the top of the message and be big enough to easily tap in order to facilitate click-throughs. Then make it as easy as possible for someone to fill out a form on your mobile-optimized landing page.

3. Customer Service—In a connected, social marketplace, customer service is very much a marketing opportunity. Allow your customers to easily reach you through any platform they want, including simple click-to-call buttons for smartphone users.

In order to identify the right KPIs for your mobile marketing campaign, ask yourself:

a. Do I want to increase conversions from email messages?
b. Am I trying to improve traffic to sales pages?
c. How important is it that I generate more qualified prospects?
d. Does our brand need to improve sales by converting more traffic on certain pages?

Step 4 - Monitor Mobile Metrics

Google Analytics can help monitor mobile usage of your site:

a. Mobile behavior data reveals how well your mobile content engages your audience.
b. Mobile conversion data will indicate whether or not some of your key landing pages still need to be optimized for mobile browsing.
c. Adding the Device Category field to the Site Content dashboard will display the quantity and quality of much mobile traffic to each individual page on your site.

The table on the Site Content dashboard includes metrics like pageviews and bounce rate. Add the Device Category by clicking the “Secondary dimension” menu above the first column and selecting “Device Category” from the “Users” submenu. The table will then display the most-viewed pages on your site, per device, so you can see how mobile actually affects your web traffic.

That information can hint at which search queries may be leading mobile traffic to your site, what content your mobile audience is most interested in, and which pages to optimize for mobile browsing first.

Mobile-Friendly Website

A mobile-friendly website is no longer an option—it’s a must. The rise in mobile traffic coupled with Google’s mobile-friendliness ranking factor means a brand’s site must adapt to mobile devices in order to stay competitive.

For search engines, “mobile-friendliness” means that:

a. Content fits on the screen without side-to-side scrolling or zooming.
b. Content loads quickly.
c. Site returns no mobile-specific errors.

Google has even provided a free mobile-friendliness tool to help marketers determine how to best improve their sites.

The most important reason to maintain a mobile-friendly site is to create a consistent and engaging user experience. Mobile UX has a dramatic effect on every stage of the buying cycle:

64% of mobile web users abandon pages if they don’t load within 10 seconds.
35% of executives could not make an intended purchase because the website they visited wasn’t mobile-friendly.
90% of the C-suite uses mobile devices to research business purchases.
Making sure your mobile user experience is as easy and seamless as possible should be a primary marketing goal.

Mobile Advertising for Email 

With 57% of email opened on mobile platforms and 69% of mobile users deleting email that isn’t optimized for mobile, it’s clear that your audience is engaging with email campaigns on mobile devices.

Most email marketing providers will use responsive design—a strategy that automatically formats web page content for optimal viewing on any device—but there are still some key considerations for designing email CTAs with mobile users in mind:

a. Place the CTA early in the message (above the fold whenever possible).
b. Make buttons at least 44x44 pixels, so they are easily “tap-able.”
c. Email sends should optimize what is displayed in the mobile inbox—“From” fields max out at 23 characters, and subject lines at 38 characters.

Finally, don’t forget about those landing pages. If your email is mobile friendly, but the click-through goes to a landing page that isn’t optimized for mobile, that visitor will likely become frustrated and bounce from the page.

Creating a unique landing page for an email campaign is a great way to optimize for the mobile user. A unique landing page also allows you to create a range of metrics that will help monitor the mobile success of the campaign. Here are a few things to keep in mind as you design this unique, mobile-friendly landing page:

Remember that readers are using their fingers to select items.

a. Use pronounced image buttons and keep the layout simple.
b. Keep forms minimal. The fewer fields, the better.
c. Make sure your images are re-sizable for different devices.
d. Verify that the page looks as good vertically as it does horizontally.

SMS and MMS Marketing Is Personal

SMS, also known as “short messaging service,” really puts into context how personal mobile marketing can be because you are sending a message directly to a customer or potential customer’s personal device.

SMS and MMS are very powerful channels for mobile marketing. Over 3.6 billion people are able to receive SMS messages, and 90% of those messages are opened within three minutes (compared to 90 minutes for the average email). Consider:

1. The open rate of SMS is 98% compared to 22% for emails.
2. Text messages can be 8x more effective at engaging customers.
3. Almost 50% of consumers make direct purchases after receiving an SMS-branded text.

It’s important to remember that marketing directly to mobile devices is more personal than targeting an audience through other channels. When reaching someone on a mobile device either through email, SMS, or MMS, you are reaching that person in his/her pocket or purse. Be personal, respectful, and clear:

a. Keep the text under 160 characters.
b. Don’t use slang or abbreviations.
c. Offer the recipient something of value.
d. Make it clear who is sending the message.
e. Craft a clear call-to-action.

A similar way to reach your audience on mobile devices is MMS, or multimedia message service. The difference is that MMS is a multimedia message that can be sent peer-to-peer, from a mobile messaging service provider or from a website to a mobile phone. MMS messages can include text, photos, videos, audios, or GIFs. Expanded media options allow for a more branded message and create a better tie-in to other marketing campaigns.

Why should you use MMS marketing to reach your mobile audience?

a. MMS texts have a higher customer engagement with a 15% average CTR (click-through-rate).
b. MMS increases campaign opt-ins by 20% over SMS.
c. Subscribers are eight times more likely to share MMS content on social networks.

Because MMS offers a richer media experience than simple SMS messaging, you should make the most of those extra media options:

a. Include engaging visuals.
b. Tie the MMS send to a multi-channel marketing campaign.
c. Make the message easily shareable via social media buttons.

It’s important to take privacy regulations into consideration with SMS and MMS marketing. Because these messages are considered automated calls, they fall under the Telephone Consumer Protection Act (TCPA) of 1991. That means there are three privacy principles that should govern how you implement SMS and MMS into your marketing:

1. Adequate notice—You should inform consumers that they will be receiving SMS messages from a concrete shortcode-based program.
2. Opt-in consent—You must get opt-in confirmation before sending marketing SMS and MMS messages. Online forms to enter your SMS or MMS program requires a double opt-in.
3. Opting out—It should be very clear how someone can opt out of your program.

SMS and MMS are very personal, and thus very powerful, mobile marketing options. Make sure to handle them with tact and detailed strategy.

 Adding Mobile Apps to the Mix 

Mobile apps can support many business goals, including extending your product, driving engagement, and even supporting e-commerce. To maximize an app’s impact on your marketing, you will want to be involved in the entire process, from app development through implementation.

Just like any other marketing channel, it’s important to consider how the app can be used for acquisition. You may offer extra features or more mobile content in exchange for a user’s contact information, similar to how you would gate content on your website for the same purpose. You will also want to make sure the app encourages user engagement in order to build relationships and loyalty, and—of course—drive conversions.

Those conversations are driven by two types of messages: push notifications and in-app notifications. Both communicate directly to your audience, so both should be considered strategic marketing channels.

Push Notifications

Push notifications are messages or alerts delivered by your app to the user. These messages appear on the home screen of a user’s mobile device regardless of whether the user is engaged with the app or even has it open. For a push notification to work, the user needs to have already downloaded your app and agreed to allow push notifications. Luckily, 70% of mobile users allow push notifications.

Examples of push notifications include:

a. Reminders
b. Promotional messages
c. Calls-to-action for specific events or goals
d. Messages that are highly personalized based on user profiles

In-App Notifications

In-app communications direct your user’s attention to specific actions, messages, and features within the app, and are opportunities for you to engage your users. These messages give you the chance to be more personal and creative than with SMS or push notifications, because the user is already in your app and you aren’t limited by space constraints or message volume issues.

Here are three ways you can take advantage of in-app notifications:

1. Introduce new app features to your users.
2. Send messages to promote engagement with specific content pieces.
3. Drive conversions by delivering targeted CTAs at specific levels of engagement.

Both push and in-app notifications can be powerful ways to reach your audience, particularly because they’ve already taken the time to engage with your brand by downloading your app.

Putting It All Together

A mobile marketing strategy is not a stand-alone effort, but it is a large chunk of any long-term or short-term marketing campaign—and its importance is only growing. From email, to PPC, to SEO, to content, to social media marketing, there is a mobile marketing channel to reach every part of your audience where they are most comfortable.

Optimizing your website and email sends for mobile devices, taking advantage of the SMS and MMS channels, and building a native app for your most highly engaged audience are all big projects. So, start by updating your buyer personas to get a better idea of where the majority of your target audience spends its mobile time. That will give you your start line, and the rest will fall into a logical order.

Mobile technology is not a fad that’s going away any time soon. Optimizing your marketing strategy for mobile will give your brand an edge over the competition. Don’t wait—go mobile today!

Thank you so much Guys.

Kranti Gaurav
XLRI Jamshedpur

Stepping into Leadership - Indian School of Business

HR said, "Let’s fire her!


We had a secretary who made a mistake that cost us a contract worth $$$


It was her 2nd mistakes in less than two weeks.


I was not happy about this so I held a meeting with the HR team.


Our records showed she was one of our top performers.


“How come she had declined?” I asked.


They had no clue. Instead, they suggested we fire her.


I don't think that would've been the best solution.


I decided to invite her for coffee. I asked her to join me at our usual place.


Immediately she showed up. I had barely said anything when she broke into tears.


"Please don't fire me! I know I am performing below par.”


I was moved with compassion. I asked, what is going on.


She opened up, I've been having a turbulent time at home, I stay with an abusive partner who doesn’t care about my job. And my only son is sick, my partner is not helping at all.

I consoled her and asked if she'd want to take a break to sort things out.


She agreed. I granted her two-week break and paid her for the weeks as well.


The following weeks, she came back better and has performed excellently since then.


Leadership is about understanding & empathy. Employees are human.


“When a singer truly feels and experiences what the music is all about, the words will automatically ring true”


Be Human. It is actually very important to respond carefully to an employee's mistake. Employers have to understand that their employees have a life outside office also where they might be going through some crisis which is affecting their performance.


Treating right & supporting when required is the key to employee's motivation & morale making him/ her more grateful for the company and thus increase in productivity.


Best part is instead of jumping to conclusion you took step to know what is actually reason behind her performance.


Leadership is not only limited to leading and getting things done at time but its all about to make best team and understand teammates.


Such quality exists rare now a days.


Afterall, Employee - Employer relationship is a two way street my dear Friends 👍


God Bless !!

जानिए क्या है हिन्दू धर्म में श्राद्ध का महत्व

श्राद्ध क्या है – हिन्दू धर्म में पितरों को भी आदर सम्मान देने का विधान है, क्योंकि उनकी कृपा से हमारे आने वाली पीढ़ी का उन्नती और विकास होता है, इसलिए श्राद्ध पक्ष में बड़े ही विधि विधान से पितरों का श्राद्ध हमारे हिन्दू धर्म में किया जाता है. सनातन संस्कृति विश्व की सबसे प्राचीन संस्कृति है. जिसमें तीज-त्योहार, पूजा-विधान, रस्मों का विशेष महत्व है. हिन्दू धर्म से बड़ा इस दुनिया में कोई धर्म नहीं है. हिन्दू धर्म की व्यापकता का विश्व में कोई सानी नहीं हैं. हिन्दू संस्कृति अदभुत है, अतुल्यनिय है. भाद्रपद मास की पूर्णिमा से लेकर आश्विन मास की अमावस्या तक का विशेष समय काल श्राद्धपक्ष कहलाता है.


श्राद्ध एक संस्कार है. जिसका वर्णन हमारे अनेकों हिन्दू धर्म ग्रंथों में है. आपको बता दें कि श्राद्धपक्ष को महालय और पितृ पक्ष भी कहते हैं. मूल रुप से श्राद्ध का अर्थ है कि अपने पितरों के प्रति, वं श के प्रति, देवताओं के प्रति अपनी श्रद्धा और विश्वास को प्रकट करना.


पितृपक्ष के पन्द्रह दिनों की समयावधि में हिन्दु परिवार के लोग पूर्वजों को भोजन अर्पित करते हैं. उन्हें श्रधांजलि देते हैं. हिन्दू धर्म में ऐसी मान्यता है कि आश्विन कृष्ण पक्ष में हमारे पूर्वज इस धराधाम पर आते हैं. और अपने हिस्से का अन्न जल किसी न किसी रुप में ग्रहण करते हैं. कहते हैं कि इस तिथि पर सभी पितृगण अपने वंशजों के द्वार पर आकर अपने हिस्से का भोजन सूक्ष्म रुप में ग्रहण करते हैं और आशीर्वाद देते हैं. ऐसे भी हमारा दायित्व बनता है कि जो पूर्वज अब हमारे साथ नहीं है, लेकिन उनका आशिष हमें मिलता रहे. इसलिए अपनो की उन्नती और विकास के लिए हमारे पितृदेव श्राद्ध के समय हमें कृतार्थ करने के लिए पृथ्वी पर आते हैं. समस्त हिन्दू समाज के लोग अपनी श्रद्धा और सामर्थय्नुसार अपने पूर्वजों के लिए श्रद्दापूर्वक श्राद्ध करते हैं.



पुराणों के अनुसार श्राद्ध की व्याख्या


गरुड़ पुराण– ‘पितृ पूजन (श्राद्धकर्म) से संतुष्ट होकर पितर मनुष्यों के लिए आयु, पुत्र, यश, स्वर्ग, कीर्ति, पुष्टि, बल, वैभव, पशु, सुख, धन और धान्य देते हैं.


मार्कण्डेय पुराण– ‘श्राद्ध कर्म से तृप्त होकर पितृगण श्राद्धकर्ता को दीर्घायु, सन्तति, धन, विद्या सुख, राज्य, स्वर्ग और मोक्ष प्रदान करते हैं.


कुर्मपुराण– ‘जो प्राणी जिस किसी भी विधि से एकाग्रचित होकर श्राद्ध करता है, वह समस्त पापों से रहित होकर मुक्त हो जाता है और पुनः संसार चक्र में नहीं आता.’


ब्रह्मपुराण– ‘जो व्यक्ति शाक के द्वारा भी श्रद्धा-भक्ति से श्राद्ध करता है, उसके कुल में कोई भी दुःखी नहीं होता.’


विष्णु पुराण– श्रद्धायुक्त होकर श्राद्धकर्म करने से पितृगण ही तृप्त नहीं होते, अपितु ब्रह्मा, इंद्र, रुद्र, दोनों अश्विनी कुमार, सूर्य, अग्नि, अष्टवसु, वायु, विश्वेदेव, ऋषि, मनुष्य, पशु-पक्षी और सरीसृप आदि समस्त भूत प्राणी भी तृप्त होते हैं.


यमस्मृति में कहा गया है कि ‘जो लोग देवता, ब्राह्मण, अग्नि और पितृगण की पूजा करते हैं, वे सबकी अंतरात्मा में रहने वाले भगवान विष्णु की ही पूजा करते हैं.’
हिन्दू धर्म में इसका क्या महत्व है


श्राद्ध के महत्व के बारे में हमारे हिन्दू धर्म में बताया गया है कि श्राद्धपक्ष में भोजन करने के बाद जो आचमन किया जाता है और पैर धोया जाता है, उसी से हमारे पितृगण संतुष्ट हो जाते हैं. समस्त कुटुंब के साथ विधि विधान से किए गए श्राद्ध की तो बात ही क्या कहनी, उससे तो कई गुना फल की प्राप्ती होती है.


इतना ही नहीं हमारे अनेकानेक वेदों, पुराणों, धर्मग्रंथों में श्राद्ध की महत्ता और उसके लाभ के बारे में बताया गया है. एक बात तो स्पस्ट है कि श्राद्ध फल से ना सिर्फ हमारे पितरों की आत्मा को शांति मिलती है बल्कि हमें विशेष रुप से हमारे पितर हमारे जीवन सुख शांती के लिए आशीर्वाद भी देते हैं. इसलिए हमें आवश्यक रुप से वर्ष भर में पितरों की मृत्युतिथि को सर्वसुलभ जल, तिल, यव, कुश और पुष्प आदि से उनका श्राद्ध संपन्न करना चाहिए और सामर्थ्यानुसार ब्राह्मण देव को भोजन प्रसाद ग्रहण करवाना चाहिए व पुण्य के भागी बनना चाहिए.
श्राधों में ध्यान रखने के लिए कुछ महतवपूर्ण बातें


श्राद्धपक्ष के दौरान विशेष रुप से ध्यान रखना चाहिए कि समस्त परिवार प्रसन्नता व विनम्रता के साथ अपने पितरों को भोजन परोसे और ब्राह्मण भोजन करवाने के पश्चात ही स्वयं भोजन ग्रहण करें. श्राद्धकर्म जब तक हो रहा हो तब तक पुरुष सूक्त तथा पवमान सूक्त का जप निरंतर होते रहना चाहिए. ब्राह्मण देव जब भोजन प्रसाद ग्रहण कर लें तब अपने पितृदेव से प्रार्थना करनी चाहिए.


दातारो नोअभिवर्धन्तां वेदा: संततिरेव च॥


श्रद्घा च नो मा व्यगमद् बहु देयं च नोअस्तिवति.


कहने का भाव है कि “पितृगण! हमारे परिवार में दाताओं, वेदों और संतानों की वृद्घि हो, हमारी आप में कभी भी श्रद्धा न घटे, दान देने के लिए हमारे पास बहुत संपत्ति हो.”


इसके बाद ब्राह्मणों की प्रदक्षिणा, दक्षिणा देकर उनका आशीर्वाद लेना चाहिए और उन्हें विदा करना चाहिए.


श्राद्ध में विशेष रुप से ध्यान रखने योग्य बातें


श्राद्ध के लिए जल में काले तिल, जौ, कुशा एवं सफेद फूल मिलाकर उस जल से विधि पूर्वक तर्पण किया जाता. हिन्दू मान्यता है कि इससे हमारे पितर तृप्त होते हैं. श्राद्ध के बाद ब्राह्मण को भोजन कराकर दी जाने वाली तृप्ति पितरों को भी संतुष्ट करती है.


श्राद्धकर्म करने वाले व्यक्ति को दक्षिण दिशा की ओर मुख करके, आचमन कर अपने जनेऊ को दाएं कंधे पर रखकर चावल, गाय का दूध, घी, शक्कर एवं शहद को मिलाकर बने पिंडों को श्रद्धा भाव के साथ अपने पितरों को अर्पित करना चाहिए,इसे ही पिंडदान कहा जाता है.


स प्रकार से पितृ देवों के लिए श्राद्धपक्ष में नियम-संयम और विधान से, भाव से, श्रद्दा से हमें अपने पितरों की शांति के लिए पूजा पाठ करना चाहिए. जिससे हमारे सिर पर बड़ों आसीर्वाद सदैव बना रहे और हमारे जीवन से रोग शोक का नाश हो जाए और हमारे जीवन में सुख, शांति सम्बृद्धि, उन्नति होती रहे.


दोस्तों अगर लेख पसंद आये तो अपने दोस्तों के साथ जरुर शेयर करें. क्योंकि ज्ञान बाँटने से और बढ़ता है.

जब एक छिपकली कर सकती है, तो हम क्यों नहीं

जब एक छिपकली कर सकती है, तो हम क्यों नहीं

[यह जापान में घटी, एक सच्ची घटना है।]

अपने मकान का नवीनीकरण करने के लिये, एक जापानी अपने मकान की दीवारों को तोड़ रहा था। जापान में लकड़ी की दीवारों के बीच ख़ाली जगह होती हैं, यानी दीवारें अंदर से पोली होती हैं।

जब वह लकड़ी की दीवारों को चीर-तोड़ रहा था, तभी उसने देखा कि दीवार के अंदर की तरफ लकड़ी पर एक छिपकली, बाहर से उसके पैर पर ठुकी कील के कारण, एक ही जगह पर जमी पड़ी है।

जब उसने यह दृश्य देखा तो उसे बहुत दया आई पर साथ ही वह जिज्ञासु भी हो गया। जब उसने आगे जाँच की तो पाया कि वह कील तो उसके मकान बनते समय पाँच साल पहले ठोंका गई थी!

एक छिपकली इस स्थिति में पाँच साल तक जीवित थी! दीवार के अँधेरे पार्टीशन के बीच, बिना हिले-डुले? यह अविश्वसनीय, असंभव और चौंका देने वाला था!

उसकी समझ से यह परे था कि एक छिपकली, जिसका एक पैर, एक ही स्थान पर पिछले पाँच साल से कील के कारण चिपका हुआ था और जो अपनी जगह से एक इंच भी न हिली थी, वह कैसे जीवित रह सकती है?

अब उसने यह देखने के लिये कि वह छिपकली अब तक क्या करती रही है और कैसे अपने भोजन की जरुरत को पूरा करती रही है, अपना काम रोक दिया।

थोड़ी ही देर बाद, पता नहीं कहाँ से, एक दूसरी छिपकली प्रकट हुई, वह अपने मुँह में भोजन दबाये हुये थी - उस फँसी हुई छिपकली को खिलाने के लिये! उफ़्फ़! वह सन्न रह गया! यह दृश्य उसके दिल को अंदर तक छू गया!

एक छिपकली, जिसका एक पैर कील से ठुका हुआ था, को, एक दूसरी छिपकली पिछले पाँच साल से भोजन खिला रही थी!

अद्भुत! दूसरी छिपकली ने अपने साथी के बचने की उम्मीद नहीं छोड़ी थी, वह पहली छिपकली को पिछले पाँच साल से भोजन करवा रही थी।

अजीब है, एक छोटा-सा जंतु तो यह कर सकता है, पर हम मनुष्य जैसे प्राणी, जिसे बुद्धि में सर्वश्रेष्ठ होने का आशीर्वाद मिला हुआ है, नहीं कर सकता!

कृपया अपने प्रिय लोगों को कभी न छोड़ें!  लोगों को उनकी तकलीफ़ के समय अपनी पीठ न दिखायें! अपने आप को महाज्ञानी या सर्वश्रेष्ठ समझने की भूल न करें! आज आप सौभाग्यशाली हो सकते हैं पर कल तो अनिश्चित ही है और कल चीज़ें बदल भी सकती हैं!

प्रकृति ने हमारी अंगुलियों के बीच शायद जगह भी इसीलिये दी है ताकि हम किसी दूसरे का हाथ थाम सकें!

आप आज किसी का साथ दीजिये, कल कोई-न-कोई दूसरा आपको साथ दे देगा!

धर्म चाहे जो भी हो बस अच्छे इंसान बनो,हिसाब  हमारे कर्म का होगा धर्म का नहीं.