How To Overcome: The Classic Carrot, Egg, and Bean Coffee Story

You may never look at a cup of coffee the same way again!

A young woman told her mother how difficult things were for her.

She did not know how she was going to make it and felt like giving up.

Her mother took her to the kitchen and filled three pots with water. Soon the water started
boiling. In the first pot, she placed carrots. In the second, she put eggs. And in the third, she
placed coffee beans. She let them sit and boil.

In about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them
on a plate. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and
placed it in a mug.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, “What do you see?”

“Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” her daughter replied.

Her mother handed her some carrots. They were soft.

The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it.

After pulling off the shell, she observed that the egg was now hard boiled.

Then the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich
aroma.

Then the daughter asked, “What does all this mean?”

Her mother said that each of these had faced the same adversity—boiling water. But each reacted
differently.

“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you
respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose
my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with an open heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit,
but after a death, a break-up, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened
and stiff?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water — the very circumstance
that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like
the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another
level?

How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Donkey In The Well: A Classic Short Motivational Story

Once upon a time, there was a little donkey that lived on a ranch. The little donkey spent all of
his time in a pen with his grandfather. One day, the little donkey said, “Grandpa, I want to grow
up to be big and strong like you.

What do I have to do?”

Grandpa said, “All you have to do is learn how to shake it off and step up.”

That confused the little donkey so he asked his grandfather what that meant.

Grandpa said, “Let me tell you a classic short motivational story! One day, when I was just about
your age, I was right here in this pen when someone left the gate open by mistake. Well, I
escaped and started walking out on the prairie. I was admiring the big mountains and the huge
sky.

Then, all of a sudden, when I wasn’t looking at where I was going, I fell into an old, abandoned
well. I was trapped at the bottom of the well, scared to death, thinking I was going to die. I was
the donkey in the well. Then, within a few minutes, I heard a truck and looked up and saw an old
farmer. I thought he would surely save me. But he just looked down at me, shook his head, got
back into his truck, and left.

“A few hours later, I heard what sounded like four or five trucks. I looked up and saw the farmer
and several of his friends. The old farmer said, ‘Boys, the well’s abandoned and that little
donkey ain’t worth anything, so let’s get to work.’

“They got their pick axes and shovels and started burying me alive. Now I knew I was going to
die! The dirt started burying my hooves and then it started covering my lower legs and then I
suddenly realised something — every time a shovel-full of dirt landed on my back, I could shake
it off and step up on it. So I shook it off and stepped up, and shook it off and stepped up, and I
continued shaking and stepping, and shaking and stepping, until I eventually shook off enough
and stepped up enough that I was able to step out of the well and save my life!”

Then the grandfather looked right at the little donkey and said,

“Remember, if you want to grow up to be big and strong, you have to learn how to shake it off
and step up.” 

Nails In The Fence: A Story About Anger

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.

His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper,
he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned
to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He
discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and
the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his
temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.

He said, ‘You’ve done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be
the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.

You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m
sorry, the wound is still there and a verbal wound is just as bad as a physical one. 

The Fox and the Grapes

One afternoon, a fox was walking through the forest and spotted a bunch of grapes hanging from a lofty branch.

“Just the thing to quench my thirst,” he thought.

Taking a couple of steps back, the fox jumped and just missed the hanging grapes. The fox tried again but still failed to reach them.

Finally, giving up, the fox turned his nose up and said, “They’re probably sour anyway,” and walked away.

Moral of the story: It’s easy to despise what you can't have.

Two Friends and the Bear

Vijay and Raju were friends. One day while on holiday, exploring a forest, they saw a bear coming towards them.

Naturally, they were both frightened, so Raju, who knew how to climb trees, climbed one quickly. He didn’t spare a thought for his friend who had no idea how to climb.

Vijay thought for a moment. He had heard that animals don’t attack dead bodies, so he fell to the ground and held his breath. The bear sniffed him, thought he was dead, and went on its way.

Raju, after he had climbed down from the tree asked Vijay, “What did the bear whisper in your ears?”

Vijay replied, “The bear asked me to keep away from friends like you.”

Moral of the story: A friend in need is a friend indeed.

The Greedy Lion

It was an incredibly hot day and a lion was feeling very hungry.

He crawled out of his den and searched here and there, but he could only find a small hare. He caught the hare, but with some hesitation as he knew the hare wouldn’t fill him up.

As the lion was about to kill the hare, he spotted a deer coming his way and thought, “Instead of eating this small hare, let me eat that big deer.”

So he let the hare go and went after the deer, but it vanished in the forest. The lion now had nothing to eat as the hare was also long gone.

Moral of the story: A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Having a Best Friend

Two friends were walking through the desert. At one stage in their journey, they had an argument and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything he wrote in the sand, “Today my best friend slapped me in the face.”

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to have a wash. The one who had been slapped got stuck in a mire and started drowning, but his friend saved him. After he had recovered from his shock, he wrote on a stone, “Today my best friend saved my life.”

The friend who slapped and saved his best friend asked him, “After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write in stone, why?”

The other friend replied, “When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”

Moral of the story: Don’t value the things you have in your life. Value those who you have in your life.

The Wise Man

People visit a wise man complaining about the same problems over and over again. One day, he decided to tell them a joke and they all roared with laughter.

After a few minutes, he told them the same joke and only a few of them smiled.

Then he told the same joke for a third time, but no one laughed or smiled anymore.

The wise man smiled and said: “You can’t laugh at the same joke over and over. So why are you always crying about the same problem?”

Moral of the story: Worrying won’t solve your problems, it’ll just waste your time and energy.

An Old Man Lived in the Village

An old man lived in the village. The whole village was tired of him; he was always gloomy, he constantly complained and was always in a bad mood. The longer he lived, the viler he became and more poisonous were his words. People did their best to avoid him because his misfortune was contagious. He created the feeling of unhappiness in others.

But one day, when he turned eighty, an incredible thing happened. Instantly everyone started hearing the rumour: “The old man is happy today, he doesn’t complain about anything, smiles, and even his face is freshened up.”

The whole village gathered around the man and asked him, “What happened to you?”

The old man replied, “Nothing special. Eighty years I’ve been chasing happiness and it was useless. And then I decided to live without happiness and just enjoy life. That’s why I’m happy now.”

Moral of the story: Don’t chase happiness. Enjoy your life.

Box Full of Kisses

Some time ago, a man punished his young daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became angry when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.

Nevertheless, the girl brought the gift to her father on Christmas day and said, “This is for you, daddy.”

The man became embarrassed by his overreaction a few days before, but his rage continued when he saw that the box was empty. He yelled at her, “Don’t you know, when you give someone a gift, there’s supposed to be something inside?”

The little girl looked up at her dad with tears in her eyes and cried; “Oh, daddy, it’s not empty at all. I blew kisses into the box. They’re all for you, daddy.”

The father was devastated. He put his arms around his daughter, and begged for her forgiveness.

A little while later, the girl died in an accident. Her father kept the gold box by his bed for many years and, whenever he was feeling down, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

Moral of the story: Love is the most precious gift in the world.

The Blind Girl

There once was a blind woman who hated herself purely because she could not see. The only person she loved was her boyfriend, as he was always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, then she would marry him.

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her – now she could see everything, including her boyfriend. Her loving boyfriend asked her, “now that you can see the world, will you marry me?”

The woman was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was blind too, and refused to marry him. Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and wrote a short note to her saying: “Just take care of my eyes, dear.”

Moral of the story: When our circumstances change, so does our mind. Some people may not be able to see the way things were before, and might not be able to appreciate them.

The Butterfly

Once upon a time, a man found a butterfly that was starting to hatch from its cocoon. He sat down and watched the butterfly for hours as it struggled to force itself through a tiny hole. Then, it suddenly stopped making progress and looked like it was stuck.

Therefore, the man decided to help the butterfly out. He took a pair of scissors and cut off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily, although it had a swollen body and small, shrivelled wings.

The man thought nothing of it, and he sat there waiting for the wings to enlarge to support the butterfly. However, that never happened. The butterfly spent the rest of its life unable to fly, crawling around with small wings and a swollen body.

Despite the man’s kind heart, he didn’t understand that the restricting cocoon and the struggle needed by the butterfly to get itself through the small hole were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings to prepare itself for flying once it was free.

Moral of the story: Our struggles in life help to develop our strengths. Without struggles, we never grow and get stronger, so it’s important for us to tackle challenges on our own, and not rely on help from others all the time.

The Obstacle in Our Path

In ancient times, a king had his men place a boulder on a roadway. He then hid in the bushes, and watched to see if anyone would move the boulder out of the way. Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers passed by and simply walked around it.

Many people blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none of them did anything about getting the stone removed.

One day, a peasant came along carrying vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to push the stone out of the way. After much pushing and straining, he finally managed.

After the peasant went back to pick up his vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and note from the King explain that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the road.

Moral of the story: Every obstacle that we come across gives us an opportunity to improve our circumstances, and while the lazy complain, others are creating opportunities through their kind hearts, generosity, and willingness to get things done.

How To Be Happy Alone

How To Be Happy Alone

The interesting thing about the question “How to be happy alone?” is that the question itself exposes the reason why you are unhappy alone. Let me break it down for you.

You believe that a relationship is the key to happiness

If you’re asking the question “How to be happy alone?”, it’s almost certainly because you believe “being in a relationship is the key to happiness”. This belief may also show up as “It’s best to be in a relationship”, “you should be in a relationship”, “you’d be happiest if you’re in a relationship”, “life is meaningless if you don’t have someone to share it with”, “love is the key to happiness” or something along those lines.

Are you believing one of those things? Almost certainly. Because, if you didn’t believe that being in a relationship created happiness, then you would ask “How to be happy?” instead of “How to be happy alone”. The question implies that it is harder to be happy if you’re not in a relationship.

Why you are unhappy alone

When you believe that a relationship (or love) is the key to happiness, and you aren’t in a relationship (or aren’t loved), then you will automatically believe that your life isn’t good enough. You unconsciously (or consciously) compare your life how it is to your idea of the “perfect” life. And when your life doesn’t match your idea of “perfect”, it is unconsciously decided that the way things are isn’t good enough.

As soon as you decide that your life isn’t good enough, you begin to feel lacking and as though there’s something missing in your life.

Why your feeling of lack can’t be created by being single

For most people it can seem as though the feeling of lack is not created by a belief, but actually caused by not having a romantic partner in your life. Let’s examine that assumption.

When you’re watching a comedy/action movie and are fully immersed in the movie, do you feel unhappy about being single? No, certainly not. Why? Because, in a moment when you’re giving your full attention to a movie, you’re not thinking about how bad it is to be single. When you’re doing something that you love like going to yoga class, playing a sport, dancing, playing with your kids, hanging out with your friends, or something like that, are you unhappy about being single? No. Why not? Because you are distracted from the thoughts that claim your life isn’t good enough.

If being single factually created unhappiness and a feeling of lack, then you would be forced to feel lacking and unhappy in every moment that you are single. But, if all it takes to stop feeling lacking and unhappy is to just distract yourself from your thoughts, then it is clear that your feeling of lack and unhappiness must be created by thoughts.

An exercise to watch how thoughts create the feeling of lack

The only time you feel lacking and unhappy when you’re single is when you tell yourself the story about how life would be so much better if you were in a relationship. To see this for yourself, let’s do a little exercise. First take a moment to ask yourself “How do I feel right now?” Maybe you feel okay, not so bad, or a little bit of lack, but nothing too strong.

Now, please take a moment to tell yourself some of the following thoughts. And when one of them feels true, start telling yourself all of the stories about it. “It would be so great if I was in a relationship”, “It’s terrible having no one to love me”, “My life will mean nothing if I don’t find someone to love me”, “I should be in a relationship (or married) by now”, “I’ll never be happy if I don’t get married”.

How does it make you feel when you tell yourself these stories? Unhappy? Sad? Lacking? Fearful? A minute ago, before you told these stories in your mind, these feelings weren’t there, but once you start giving attention to these stories, the feelings appear. If these emotions show up as soon as the thoughts show up, it is clear that the thoughts must be creating the emotions.

It may seem that your feeling of lack proves that your life is somehow factually lacking something, but the truth is that this feeling of lack is only created by believing stories in your mind.

How to be happy alone? Discover that a relationship can’t make you happy
Now that you have seen that thoughts/belief are what’s making you feel unhappy and lacking, the next question is “What do I do about it?” The primary cause of your unhappiness when you’re alone is created by comparing your life now to your idea of the “perfect life”. Therefore, the way to be happy now is to discover that your life right now is not “worse” than the “perfect” life. In other words, you have to discover that the “perfect” life isn’t as perfect as you thought it was. Then, you will no longer decide that your life isn’t good enough, which will stop creating the feeling of lack and unhappiness.

The real reason why you want a relationship (and whatever ideas you have that go with it) is because you believe that it will make you feel happy, lovable, okay, complete, fulfilled, free, relaxed, or something along these lines. Therefore, if you want to feel happy alone, all you need to do is to discover that a relationship, marriage, and love can’t give you any of these feelings that you want. This discovery ends the comparison that creates your suffering. That may sound ridiculous in this moment, but at the end of this explanation you’ll see this very clearly for yourself.

Why a relationship can’t make you happy

So, does a relationship, love, or marriage create happiness? Well, if it created happiness, then everyone who had it would be happy. But, is everyone’s who’s married and in a relationship happy? No, clearly not. The divorce rate in America is over 50%. Therefore, marriage and companionship itself clearly doesn’t create happiness.

But, what if the person you were in a relationship with was “perfect” for you in every way? Surely, then you would be happy, right? Well, imagine that you have this perfect partner that you want, a perfect marriage… would you not still have anxiety about your job? Will you have no anxiety about money? Are you going to stop worrying about what other people think of your appearance, your personality, and how you act? Are you not still going to have insecurities about your personality, appearance? Are you not going to still insecure about whether you’re smart enough, funny enough, outgoing enough etc? Will you not have insecurities about your stomach, your face, your butt, your thighs, your legs, all of that? You’re not going to have any of that? Are you not going to judge others? Are you not going to get angry at others? Are you not going to feel sad about events that happen? Are you still not going to feel sad, guilty, or ashamed about things that happened in the past?

Even if you get the so-called “perfect” person for you to marry you or love you, that doesn’t have the ability to eliminate all of the thoughts that make you unhappy (or practically any of them).

If you get the “perfect” partner, you will have new suffering

If you enter into a relationship with someone that you believe is “perfect” for you, it can be enjoyable, and it can be fun. It can also give us a few new unconscious thoughts of “my life is great because I am in a relationship now” and “If he loves me, that must mean that I am lovable”. These two new thoughts will create some pleasure.

But, as soon as you decide that the relationship makes you happy in some way, you have also decided that it would be bad for the relationship to end. As soon as you decide that their love makes you happy and means something about who you are, you have also decided that it would be bad and mean something about you if they stop loving you. If you think that your happiness is dependent on the relationship, then of course you are going to fear losing the relationship. That may show up as being afraid that they will leave you, cheat on you, or even die. If you believe that your happiness or “love-ability” is dependent on their love for you, then of course you are going to fear losing their love. This fills the relationship with worrying about whether they still love you, and requires you to make an effort to be someone “lovable” in order to keep their love.

Since you will be afraid that your partner will leave you or stop loving you, you will inevitably constantly look for reassurance that you partner still loves you. You will want them to show you appreciation, get you gifts, tell you that they love you, call you, and so on just to continually prove and reaffirm their love for you since you can never know for sure that they still love you.

Life outside of the relationship isn’t as fun when you look to a relationship to make you happy
The fact of the matter is that even if you are married or in a relationship, the vast majority of your time on any given day will not be spent with your romantic partner. When you’re at work, or when they’re at work, you’re not with your partner. And that is most of the day.

If you are looking for your happiness from one person that is not with you most of the time, then that is a recipe for suffering. You may think that you are alone now, but you will continue to be alone most of the time even when you are in a relationship. The only thing that changes is a thought that pops up in your head from time to time that says “I have a romantic partner that loves me”. But, you don’t even know that to be true. It’s just an assumption, a belief, a guess, a hope. In addition, when you are not with them, it is harder to be reminded and reaffirmed that your partner loves you, so it leaves room for more doubt, worry, and jealousy.

What it means if a relationship can’t make you happy

If you see that a relationship can’t make you happy, and can’t make anybody happy, then all of the sudden that means that you’re not lacking anything right now. You’re life is not any worse because you’re single. You don’t have less of a chance of being happy because you’re single. The people in relationships are not happier than you. You’re life isn’t not good enough to be happy simply because you don’t have a romantic partner. No, you have the same chance of being happy as anyone else. You are at no disadvantage whatsoever by being single.

How to be happy alone… what to do

Recognizing that being in a relationship can’t make you happy will eliminate some of your feelings of shame and lack about being single, but there will still be a lot of other thoughts that make you unhappy in life. Therefore, to truly answer the question “How to be happy alone?”, the answer is: The same way to make yourself happy when in a relationship… Lose the thoughts that make you unhappy.

How do you do that? First, you have to identify the thoughts that make you unhappy. Once you do that, all you have to do is discover that these thoughts aren’t true. When you stop believing a thought, that thought will stop creating an emotion.

If you’re in a relationship, and you still believe all the thoughts that give you anxiety, worry, insecurity, judgement, resentment, arguments all that, you’re going to be unhappy. Therefore, in a relationship, you need to examine the thoughts that make you unhappy. The same goes for when you’re single. You need to examine the thoughts that make you unhappy. Just as you recognized in this blog post that the belief “A relationship is the key to happiness” isn’t true, you can do that with every thought that creates suffering.

I hope you found this blog post about how to be happy alone helpful.

The truth is, when you’re not following your thoughts, or you’re distracted from thoughts, you’re already happy. Therefore, being alone doesn’t make you unhappy. You’re already okay as you are. The only thing that makes you unhappy is following the negative stories in your mind.

Thank you so much Guys :-)

God Bless !!

How To Stop Thinking About Someone

How To Stop Thinking About Someone?

Do you want to know how to stop thinking about someone? Do you want to know how to stop missing someone? In this blog post, I will answer both of these questions. Generally, when we want to stop thinking about someone, we try to push the thoughts away, stop them, deny that we have them, or distract ourselves from these thoughts.

As you may have come to discover, these tactics generally don’t bring the results that we want and don’t help us to stop thinking about the person we’re thinking about. In this blog post, I am going to introduce you to a new tactic that is likely to be much more effective. But, before I talk about how to stop thinking about someone, I just want to briefly explain what missing someone is.

What seems to be the cause of missing someone?

If someone was with you that you love, and they are no longer with you, it can seem as if missing that person is a direct result of that person you love no longer being with you. It seems as though missing someone is an automatic reaction to not being with someone you love, and it is an impossible reaction to escape. It seems as if when someone you love leaves you, you miss them, and that’s just the way it works. There’s no choice in the matter. The feeling of missing someone seems to be directly created by not being around someone you love.

But, now it is time to examine this assumption.

The real cause of missing someone

Let me ask you a question, do you have anything that you do for fun? Take a moment to think about some of the things that you enjoy doing the most. For example, maybe you watch movies, maybe you eat desserts, maybe you go dancing, maybe you play sports, or maybe you play with your kids.

If you are missing someone, and then you engage in some activity that you really enjoy, would you be able to have fun or enjoy yourself? In other words, are you able to have fun and be happy when you are engaging in these activities even though the person you love is not here? Yes, you would almost certainly still be able to have fun when you are doing something you love.

When you engage in activities that you like, you are able to enjoy yourself because you are distracting yourself from the thoughts that make you unhappy. So, if the person you love is no longer here, but yet you can be happy simply by distracting yourself from thoughts, then clearly your feeling of missing them isn’t created by the factual circumstance of that person not being here. If your feeling of missing someone was directly created by a person you love not being here with you, then you would be forced to have this feeling of missing them for as long as they weren’t here with you, and you wouldn’t be able to escape this feeling simply by distracting yourself from your thoughts.

Can you see how missing someone is not created by someone you love not being here with you, but is actually directly created by thoughts? When you think about someone you love not being here, you miss them. But, when you are not thinking about them, you don’t miss them. The feeling of missing someone is just created by thinking about someone that you want to be here, but isn’t here.

To understand how to stop thinking about someone, you need to understand why you think about them?

Let me first say this: there is no problem with thinking about anyone. It is not as though you shouldn’t do it or it is a bad thing to do. But, if you want to know how to stop thinking about someone, then you first have to understand why you are thinking about them. If you don’t understand why you are thinking about someone, then it is very, very difficult to stop thinking about them. You will end up just trying to push your thoughts away, rather than directly addressing the cause of why you’re thinking about them.

So why do you think about the person you are thinking about? When it comes to relationships, which is the most common situation for when we want to stop thinking about someone, the reason why we think about them is because we think that we would be happier if they were here. The reason why you keep thinking about them or missing them is because you think you would be happier if they were here.

Are you thinking about someone because you think you would be happier if they were here?
To test this out, think about a time that you were enjoying yourself while the person you have been missing isn’t here. In the moment that you were having fun, being happy, and enjoying yourself, were you thinking about the person you have been missing? No, almost certainly not. This is because when you are already happy, there is no reason to think about the person you have been missing.

But when you’re sitting there, not particularly happy, or just not doing much, your mind just keeps bringing up how you would be happier if they were here and that causes you to keep thinking about them.

If you thought that you would be unhappier if they were here, would you continue to think about them? No, almost certainly not. Do you see how that is true?

Let’s examine whether you would actually be happier if the person you are thinking about was here
When we are thinking about someone, what we do is we remember a moment of pleasure (or happy moments) from our time with them, and then we think (often unconsciously) “I would be happier if they were here”. But let’s now examine this major assumption “I would be happier if they were here”.

Tactic #1: Were you always happy and fulfilled when they were?

How to stop thinking about someone: Were you always happy when the person you are missing was here? Were all of your times together enjoyable? Were there some moments when you were with them and you were worrying about what they think? Were there some moments when you were really annoyed with them, when you judged them, when they judged you, when you got in arguments, when you were worried about whether they were cheating on you, when you were worried about whether they still loved you, when you resented them because they didn’t appreciate you enough, when you felt uncomfortable because you were trying to please them?

When you are thinking about how you would be happier if they were here, you are thinking about a specific moment/s of pleasure that you had with them, but you can’t just bring back the happy/fun moments. If you bring the person you have been thinking about back into your life, you will be bringing everything back. You will be bringing the worrying, resentment, disappointment, arguing, doing things you don’t like, and all of that stuff along with the fun moments. Right?

So let me ask you the question: Do you know with absolute certainty that you would be happier if the person you have been thinking about was here? Is it possible that there would be more unhappiness in my life if they came back into my life? Just asking yourself these questions might help you to discover “I don’t actually know whether I would be happier if they were here again”.

Tactic #2: Could new things come into your life that wind up making you happier?

How to stop thinking about someone: Maybe your experience with the person you are thinking about was almost always wonderful and filled with happiness. But, that experience is over now. Now, you have a new experience in your life. In other words, your experience in life is now different because you no longer have that person in your life. And then you decide “I would be happier if they were here”. But, do you know what all of the effects are of losing the person that you were with?

Do you know for sure that you won’t wind up being happier single? Is it possible that losing that person will allow you to spend more time with friends, to make new friends, or to spend more time engaging with your hobbies? Is it possible that you will find someone else that you will enjoy being with much more than the last person? Can you be absolutely sure that these things aren’t possible? Is it possible that all of these types of things could wind up leaving you happier in your life without the person you have been thinking about? Is it possible that something wonderful will happen to you now that they are no longer in your life? Can you think of a few good effects of the person you are thinking about no longer being here with you?

If it is possible that you could be happier without the person that you have been thinking about, then you don’t need to keep thinking about how you would be happier if they were. Because the truth is that you don’t know whether you would be happier if they were here.

Tactic #3: Could your unhappiness motivate you to start working on yourself, which could make you much happier?

How to stop thinking about someone: Losing the person you have been thinking about seems to have created some unhappiness for you. But, that is just one, very short-term effect. Is it possible that this unhappiness you are experiencing will provoke you to start examining your unhappiness, to start questioning what makes you unhappy, to discover that thoughts cause your unwanted emotions, and to discover how to address these thoughts, which will ultimately make you much happier in life?

In other words, most of us go through life assuming that external circumstances and events make us happy and unhappy. But, the truth is that our thoughts about external circumstances and events cause all of our emotions. And, if you learn how to deal with, or eliminate, the thoughts that would normally make you unhappy, then you will be significantly happier in your life. It is possible that the unhappiness you are experiencing from losing someone will cause you to see thoughts that you didn’t know you had, and to somehow get you to a website like this which can show you how to deal with the thoughts that make you unhappy. And that could make you much happier in your life.

Tactic #4: Could “bad” things have happened in your relationship with the person you are thinking about if they were still here?

How to stop thinking about someone: Is it possible that if the person you have been thinking about was still here, maybe something bad would have happened? Is it possible that they would have cheated on you? Is it possible that the relationship would have gotten old and boring? Is it possible that you would have gotten into a big argument that really hurt both of you? Is it possible that you would have gotten more and more jealous or more and more worried about whether they still love you?  Is it possible that if they were here, they would keep you from doing something that was really wonderful and important to you, and you would miss out on it? Is it possible that you would wind up much more unhappy if they were here?

You can’t possibly know whether any of this would happen or not. So when you are thinking about someone, it is an uninvestigated assumption that you would be happier if they were here. But, as you can see, you can’t possibly know whether that’s true.

Tactic #5: Could either of you have changed, making the relationship incompatible?

How to stop thinking about someone: If the person you are thinking about was still here, is it possible that they would have changed in some way that you wouldn’t like? Is it possible that you would have changed in some way where you no longer like being with them? Is it possible that something would have happened to make both of you not a good fit for each other anymore? Is it possible that the enjoyable moments you had together would have been over very soon?

Thank you so much my dear Friends :-)

God Bless !!